Drunk Christmas
by flyingwargle
Summary: College AU. Bokuto still believes in Santa Claus and Kuroo needs a plan to keep him distracted so he can play Santa and get the presents under their tree. He gets the bright idea to get Bokuto drunk and Akaashi and Kenma have no choice but to play along.


"Hello? This is-"

"Hey, Akaashi. Is now a good time or should I try again later?"

"Kuroo-san? Now is okay. What can I do for you?"

"I have a favor to ask you. Are you busy on Christmas Eve? Bokuto mentioned you don't celebrate Christmas, right?"

"…No. I don't. Why?"

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming down to our dorm for our Christmas party. All of our college friends are going back home and none of our old teammates want to come down to Saitama but I'm pretty sure none of them want to spend the evening with Bokuto."

Akaashi wished he could say he did mind. If he declined Kuroo, however, there was a chance of Bokuto calling to pester him until he accepted. He didn't want that to happen. "I'll ask my parents. It should be okay with them, though."

"Great. Thanks. Don't forget to bring some presents. You've been to our dorm before so you should know the way."

Kuroo hung up shortly afterwards. That was how Akaashi was dragged into Kuroo's grand scheme disguised in the form of a Christmas Eve party.

* * *

It was snowing by the time Akaashi left the train station to walk to the college Kuroo and Bokuto attended. It was by chance the two friends were accepted into the same college and chance that they were paired together as roommates. There was nothing impressive about the college anyway, other than the fact their volleyball team had won championships for two years in a row. That was Bokuto's main reason for going there whereas Kuroo's reason was simply because it was cheap and affordable and outside the prefecture.

"Oh. Akaashi." He looked up at the sound of his name, recognizing Kenma standing by the closed gates leading to the campus grounds. "I forgot you were coming. Sorry."

"It's okay." Akaashi had forgotten Kenma attended the college as well. He had earned a scholarship and Kuroo was already here so it was easy for him to choose to come here instead. He stayed on the same floor as Kuroo and Bokuto but with another student from Chiba. "Did Kuroo-san ask you to come today too?"

Kenma shrugged, turning to enter the campus grounds via a door behind a locked gate. "Not really. I didn't want to go home to celebrate. I usually stayed at Kuroo's place for Christmas anyway so this isn't any different."

He led the way toward their dorm building. Akaashi was surprised to see a few students walking around campus, either at a brisk pace with intent on arriving at their destination as soon as possible or slowly, as if they had nothing better to go. Christmas was a popular holiday but not everyone celebrated it, only the idea of it. Akaashi's family hadn't celebrated it since he was a child so he found buying gifts for everyone a hassle. It was just as disheartening to give someone something they didn't like as losing a volleyball match.

"Did Kuro ask you to bring presents?" Kenma asked him over his shoulder. Akaashi nodded. "I'll show you where we're hiding them."

"Aren't they supposed to be underneath a Christmas tree?"

Kenma shook his head. He didn't seem inclined to explain. He opened the door to the dorm building, directing Akaashi to take off his shoes and put on a pair of slippers. A security guard was dozing at his post by the door, not seeming to notice their entrance.

"Here." The second floor was deserted. The hallway lights were dimmed and two beds were shoved against the wall at the end of the hallway. A garbage bag contained wrapped presents, hidden behind them. "Kuro will explain everything."

Akaashi deposited his presents inside and followed Kenma to the other end of the hallway. He opened the second door on their left without announcement, motioning Akaashi to follow. He slowly ventured in. "Pardon the-"

He crumpled to the ground when Bokuto slammed into him. "Akaashi! Did you miss me? Huh? Did you?" his upperclassman was shaking him and ruffling his hair at the same time, a grin plastered onto his face. "Because I did! How long has it been? Months? Years? Time flies these days!"

"Weeks, Bokuto-san," Akaashi muttered, letting his former captain shake him until he had to close his eyes to fight the dizziness that followed. "It's nice seeing you again."

Kuroo's laugh echoed throughout the room. "Bokuto, let him up, or else you won't give you any more tosses from now on." Surprisingly (or maybe not), Bokuto was the only regular on the college team in his year whereas Kuroo and Kenma were mere substitutes. Even so, Akaashi was still the only one who could tolerate his endless spiking practice and Kuroo was one of few to be able to block him completely.

When Akaashi recovered, he joined the rest of them at the table, able to survey the room. The windows were closed with the curtains drawn, the closet doors were closed, and their desks were piled with piles of snacks. A refrigerator was plugged into the socket by the corner of the room, humming with life. A fully decorated Christmas tree was set up behind him, glistening with lights. It looked naked without presents. The room looked bigger but that was probably because the beds had been removed.

"Bokuto, help me clean this table up." Kuroo swept garbage into the wastebasket the best he could while Bokuto stacked old volleyball magazines to place elsewhere. Kenma was turning his phone horizontally as if he was about to play a game. "Kenma, go see if there are any drinks left."

"Later," Kenma mumbled just as music started to play from his device. Akaashi recognized it from Love Live. It was easy to distinguish it from the rest.

Akaashi rose to stand up. "I can do that-"

"No, no, sit down. You're our guest here. Leave the hospitality to us," Kuroo told him. Akaashi sank back down after seeing his smirk. "Bokuto, leave those in my closet. Check the fridge for us."

"Sure!" Bokuto took a step toward the fridge, only to trip over a stray volleyball abandoned in the middle of the room. The magazines in his arms went flying. "Whoops! Sorry!"

Akaashi darted out from his seat to help him gather them up again. "Watch we're you're going next time," he muttered to him.

"Sorry! I didn't see it," Bokuto said apologetically. He opened the fridge with one hand, using the other to scoop up the volleyball. "Oh, there aren't any drinks left. I'll check the dining hall. I'll be back!" he placed it in Kuroo's closet before hurrying out of the room, slamming the door shut.

"He's jumpier than usual," Akaashi commented, placing the rest of the magazines at the bottom of the closet. He closed it gently.

Kuroo slammed the wastebasket down. "Say, Akaashi," he said, folding his arms against his chest, "how did you and the team deal with him around Christmas time?"

For whatever reason, Bokuto still believed in Santa Claus, despite being college-aged now. He had never accepted any of his teammates' presents for him because he believed Santa would deliver them to him at midnight on Christmas day yet he always looked dejected when his team exchanged presents in front of him. Akaashi shrugged, unsure how to answer. "He never accepted our presents because he thought Santa would deliver them to him."

"Exactly. The problem is, he's expecting them to be delivered here instead of his house. He's going to want to stay up until midnight or the entire night to try to get a glimpse of Santa. It's going to be a pain but a deal's a deal." Kuroo shook his head. "I promised his parents I'd play pretend for them this year and they'll do it again next year," he added when Akaashi looked at him skeptically.

"Is that why you had the presents hidden?" Akaashi asked. Kuroo nodded. "This is going to be a nuisance."

"Do we have to do this?" Kenma asked. He had finished his song and was moving on to another one.

"Honestly, it's easier to just fool him than to explain and deal with his messed-up logic." Kuroo shrugged. "What we need is a distraction. Something that'd make him forget the time and be out of the room long enough for us to get the presents under the tree."

Akaashi looked thoughtful while Kenma lowered his phone for a moment to think. Neither genius setter could think of anything. "Do you have any ideas, Kuroo-san?" Akaashi asked him.

"Nope. Nothing at all. I guess if we can't think of anything, we'll just tell him Santa went to his family's house instead." Kuroo shrugged. "That's a last resort though. If you come up with anything else, tell me."

"Drinks are here!" Bokuto announced, slamming the door with his foot. He collapsed in front of the table with an armload of canned drinks, majority being pop and juice. "Take what you want."

There were still plenty of cans left so Bokuto placed them in the fridge after they each claimed one. Four hours remained until midnight. With just the four of them, there didn't seem to be much they could do to kill time but Kuroo produced a pack of cards from his bag. Akaashi remembered the last time he had played cards with Bokuto and Kuroo. It had not ended well.

"Any special requests?" he asked, taking the cards out to shuffle. "Old Maid, Cheat, Spoons, Slapjack…"

"Oh! Let's play Slapjack!" Bokuto said excitedly.

"Let's play Old Maid," Akaashi cut in. "Bokuto-san is going to break our hands." As the only wing spiker in the group, the possibility of him breaking a hand was very high. Kenma was the most fragile out of them and he wouldn't be happy to have a broken hand since he needed both of them to play games.

"Kenma? Any thoughts?" Kuroo asked, glancing at him. He didn't seem to hear, his attention still on his game. "Slapjack it is, then."

"Kuroo-san-" Akaashi tried to protest. Kuroo merely waved his cards in the air as if reassuring him it would be fine. He hoped there was a first-aid kit with ice packs in it nearby. "Bokuto-san, you're too close to the table."

"I need to be able to slap the cards though!" Bokuto protested. Kuroo was nodding in agreement.

"Back up, Bokuto. While we're at it, put your hands on your head and use your left to put the card down. Just to make it fair. Try not to hit someone else or yourself." Kuroo passed the cards out, dividing them among the four of them. "The youngest person here can go first."

That meant Akaashi was first, followed by Kenma, Kuroo, and ending with Bokuto. He complained when the order was determined. "Why can't the oldest person go first? Respect your senpai, Akaashi!"

"Everyone knows how to play, right?" Kuroo asked. "You slap if there's a jack or if the card corresponds with the number we're on. If you slap last or slap on the wrong card, you have to take all the cards on the pile. Let's start."

Akaashi nodded, flipping over his first card. He placed it in the center of the table. "One." It was a five.

"Two." Kenma had finished his game and was cautiously placing his card down. It was a seven.

"Three." Kuroo's was a queen.

"Four!" Bokuto placed a nine down.

"Five." Akaashi's was a five. He quickly placed his hand down to slap it, wincing when Kuroo's enormous hand covered his right after. Kenma's landed on top of his. Bokuto hadn't reacted at all. "Bokuto-san, you're supposed to slap the pile when the card matches the number we're on."

"Oh? Oh! That's how it's supposed to work." Bokuto slammed his hand onto the pile. The others had enough time to react and pulled their hands away before he could slap them. "Like that?"

"Yeah, but since you slapped last, you get these cards." Kuroo pushed the cards toward him. "Shuffle your cards and you get to go first next."

The game went on like that for a few minutes. Bokuto usually ended up slapping last or not reacting at all. Akaashi was first to finish his pile, followed by Kenma. Kuroo and Bokuto went back and forth for a while but Kuroo ultimately won.

"Let's play something else," Bokuto grumbled, annoyed with himself that he had lost. Kuroo smirked victoriously, gathering the cards to shuffle them again. He noticed the untouched drinks abandoned at the corners of the table, a new idea blossoming into life.

"Nah, let's do the same thing, but you have to take a drink when you have cards to pick up. We need to finish all the drinks anyway since there's no way Bokuto and I can finish them by ourselves."

"We aren't going to get any sleep tonight, are we?" Akaashi muttered to Kenma. He shook his head as Kuroo dealt the cards out and Bokuto praised him for his smart idea.

The game started again. Bokuto paid more attention than before, being the first or second-last to slap, beating Akaashi a few times. Kuroo gulped down the last of his drink, taking a plastic bag from their stash of bags in the closet for them to put the cans in. He briefly opened the fridge to take out more drinks for them. "Keep going, there are still two more left," he told them.

Kenma finished his deck first, leaving the other three to duke it out. He rubbed his bruised hands, testing his fingers to make sure they weren't broken. Bokuto let out a cry of success. "Yes! I win!"

"No, you did not. Kenma finished before you did so you're second," Kuroo told him. He and Akaashi quickly wrapped up, leaving Akaashi last. He gathered the cards and started shuffling. Kenma suggested playing something new so Kuroo revealed his new game. "Rock-paper-scissors. Every time you lose, you take a drink."

Akaashi blinked skeptically. "Do you really want us to help you finish all of these drinks tonight?"

"Don't be like that, Akaashi!" Bokuto slung an arm over his shoulders. "We're supposed to have fun tonight! Let's have fun!"

"Do I have to play?" Kenma asked. His eyes kept darting to his phone.

Kuroo pushed his can closer to him. "Like Bokuto said, we're supposed to have fun. So let's do this." He grinned. Kenma let out a sigh, unable to do anything else but to play along.

For whatever reason, Bokuto was awful at rock-paper-scissors. Akaashi and Kenma held out for three minutes until Kuroo distracted Kenma and made him lose his concentration, letting Akaashi snatch victory from him. He took a reluctant sip of his drink, looking unamused.

Eventually, the game died down and left the four of them taking turns using the washroom. Bokuto was leaning against Akaashi, his cheeks red and speech slurred. "Akaashi, give me some tosses," he said, his expression hazy. "Let's go play some volleyball!"

"Bokuto-san, are you drunk?" Akaashi turned his head to glance at him. Kenma was back to playing Love Live and Kuroo was watching them with a smirk hidden behind his hand. "Did you do this on purpose, Kuroo-san?"

"Of course not," Kuroo replied. "Just be lucky it was him who got the beer instead of you."

"I noticed it and didn't pick it up." Akaashi shook Bokuto off of him. "Bokuto-san, we'll play volleyball when you aren't drunk."

"Huh? Akaashi won't play with me? Who's going to give me tosses, then?" Bokuto groaned. "Kenma doesn't want to play with me and Kuroo's tosses suck. I want your tosses, Akaashi!"

"Not today," Akaashi responded calmly. "Later."

"My tosses don't suck," Kuroo added. "Your tosses suck. You should stick with spiking."

"I want to volleyball!" Bokuto tried reaching out for his can of beer but Akaashi quickly pushed it out of his grasp. His fingers clutched the air instead. "Akaashi won't give me tosses and I'm thirsty!"

"Calm down, Bokuto-san. I'll toss to you next time we practice."

"And Kuroo! Kuroo always block me. What should I do? What kind of toss will make him stop Akaashi?" he was starting to become heavier, leaning more and more onto Akaashi's shoulder. He did his best to stay rooted so Bokuto wouldn't collapse onto him.

"Two-thirds of your spikes go through Kuroo-san anyway," Akaashi pointed out. "There will always be people marking you because of how powerful you are. You can't always help it."

"Akaashi! You're always so nice to me. Why can't Kuroo be nice to me?" Bokuto complained.

Kuroo looked up from his phone. "What are you saying? I'm a nice guy. Besides, you need to practice spiking when you're getting marked. College is different from high school."

"Santa!" Bokuto burst out. Akaashi jumped in surprise and Bokuto slid to the floor, his head resting on Akaashi's leg. "I want to see Santa…"

"Bokuto-san?" Akaashi watched his eyes close, his breathing slowing down. To Kuroo, he said, "He's asleep."

He started mumbling something under his breath. "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus…" the song died down after the first line, being replaced by gentle snores. His words were almost drowned out by Kenma's song for Love Live.

"Nice timing," Kuroo commented. He recognized _Snow Halation_ anywhere. "Let's make this quick in case he wakes up."

"Here." Akaashi pulled his backpack closer to him and tossed a Santa hat and beard at him. "You requested these."

"Do I have to wear them?" Kuroo sighed but slipped the hat and beard on regardless. "Keep him distracted while I do this." He hurried out of the room, returning with the bag of presents to arrange hastily underneath the tree.

"Kuro, did you know he would get drunk?" Kenma asked after he finished his song. Kuroo paused his movements to look at him over his shoulder.

"No. Not until I noticed what he was drinking was beer. We only had alcohol once before and the same thing happened to him then so whether he intentionally or unintentionally picked up the beer downstairs was a stroke of luck for us." He sat down and glanced at the time on his phone. "Well. It's midnight now. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Kenma echoed. Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, then back at Kuroo and Kenma. He hadn't expected to have enjoyed himself as much as he did, despite the company and their overall objective but at least it had ended in their favor.

"Merry Christmas," Akaashi said. Kuroo smirked his awful smirk still wearing his Santa hat and beard. He looked like he was going to commit a felony.

Bokuto kept snoring but no one was in a rush to wake him anyway. He was going to get the surprise of the year when he wakes up in the morning.

* * *

 **A/N:** Happy holidays, everyone! I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did while writing it. Also, I decided next year I'll be uploading at least one story a month so I can balance my original writing with fanfic. The next story will feature Megane Oikawa and Seijoh so look forward to that!

Thank you for reading! Enjoy the holidays!

 **Haikyuu! does not belong to me. I am merely a fan.**


End file.
